Life is so tiring for me =(

It been few yrs seen my last post. Haiz everyday when i wake up i always feel so sad n stressful seen i was born everything dun seen 2 be right like i was born 2 be a jinx or a middle person between my parents cuz from wat i no is tat be4 i was born my parent were a lovely couple n after i was little n until now my parent was like everyday fight fight then they wan 2 talk they always ask me 2 tell either 1 of them say wat like i was a messenger stuck in between them so fed up!! even until now they have divorced i still their messenger haiz.... now my life is so fed up, stress n full of sadness. N seen 3yrs back my parent decided 2 sell our house a bedok my life has become worst now i have 2 live my grandparents n my mother have 2 keep move house house by herself cuz is rented wan btw she now cant buy any house yet bcuz the law said must wait atless 2yrs then can buy then she have no choice 2 rent house illegally or she have no place 2 stay but 4 me i got a place 2 stay but i feel so uncomfortable staying at my grandparent house cuz i have give them alot trouble n problem but they still love me i dunno y but i feel so ashame i feel so useless n like a dumbass, i dun dare 2 go find part time work 2 do n earn so money nid take money from them i really feel so useless all i can think is play, go with frenz n use money onli this all i can do haiz... i always feel like "y i was born 2 this world n give ppl so many trouble n problem i shld not had born if i would be born i wish i was born 2 be a tree or maybe animal i dun wan 2 be human" cuz human nid 2 think alot think but onli when they r little they dun nid 2 think so much but each u grow up u start 2 think haiz nvm la my life is like no 1 can understand my feeling n tat y i from young i keep telling my frenz n family i wan 2 be single 4eva cuz i have no money, useless, not clever n other thing 2 have a gf so y not just 2 be single n watch all my other frenz n family have couple n i just watch..^^ ok i will write until here then anyway no1 will no this i write haha.. bye~~

~KiRa~